Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Perfect Wives Club

I've always had mixed feelings about marriage.

When I was 18 I declared, rather impetuously, that I would never get married. But I've grown up a little since then, and I think it's a fine institution. I've been to about eight weddings in the past year-and-a-half, and all the couples seem very happy together. I'm sure that one day I'll join their ranks, and I'll like it just fine.

But there's something about the word "wife" that seems so foreign to me. How could I be a wife? It's a role that seems fraught with all kinds of cultural expectations and stereotypes. Wives cook nutritious meals, drive small children around in giant SUVs and hem things. I don't do any of those things. In fact, I have made a point of actively rejecting such practices, a decision that could probably be traced back to college when I took a class called "Psychology of the Family" to fulfill my minor requirement.

In this class, we learned about how married women are more likely to be depressed than unmarried women. One study showed that while unmarried couples who live together tend to share household responsibilities equally, married women take on about 70 percent of the household chores and child-rearing--even when both spouses work full time. So horrified was I by this bleak picture of matrimony, I determined it was in my best interest just to never learn to do these things. The result is that I'm a 26-year-old woman who can barely make spaghetti, but I'm ok with that. Fortunately, I found myself a guy who's ok with that too.

But there are moments when I wonder if I'll ever be marriage material--particularly after a recent run-in with the dreaded Perfect Wives Club.

Here's the back story: A couple of months ago, in an effort to recapture his high school glory days, Matt joined a baseball league. Every Sunday there is a game that consists of much manly back patting and yelling of things like "Atta Boy." Last Sunday was the first time I actually attended one of these games, mainly because they always take place at some ungodly hour of the morning somewhere in the Valley. (If you're not from Los Angeles, it's hard to imagine the amount of scorn that can be infused into the word "valley.") Sunday's game was also in the Valley, but at least they had the decency to schedule it in the afternoon, so off I went.

Matt had already informed me that there is a small cadre of wives and significant others who go to almost every game. Not only do they go to every game, but they bring snacks for the team and keep score and hand out candy bars to the guys who make the best plays. I encountered two of them on Sunday. They walked up to the stands--where I was busy leafing through the latest In Style magazine--carting lawn chairs, a portable stereo and a cooler full of Gatorade and candy bars.

"Oh hi," Perfect Blonde Wife said. "It's nice to meet you...finally."

Chagrined, I put my magazine aside and attempted to follow what was happening on the field. For the next eight innings, I listened to Perfect Blonde Wife and Perfect Brunette Wife discuss the following topics:

1. Who made the best offensive play (Matt, yay!)
2. What decorations to have at the upcoming end of season party (baseball themed, of course)
3. What snacks to prepare (rice krispie treats in the shape of baseballs)
4. How hard it is to get to baseball uniforms clean

At this point, Perfect Blonde Wife turns to me and says, "was it hard to clean Matt's uniform that one time it got really dirty?"

What I was thinking at that moment went something like this... How do you remember the time it got really dirty? He spends three hours a week rolling around in the dirt with it. It's always really dirty. And why would I be washing his uniform for him? Neither of his arms are broken. Even though we now cohabitate, we're still individuals capable of cleaning our own clothes as we have been doing for the past decade or so of our lives, thank you very much.

Instead of saying all this, I smiled serenely and said, "it wasn't a problem."

So maybe I'll be never a Perfect Wife. But I sat through the whole game, and even let Matt pick the movie we watched later that night--which I think makes me a Pretty Good Girlfriend.

42 comments:

Anonymous said...

Does Matt possibly play baseball in the 1950s? These people sound rediculous.

And really, don't the guys find it weird that their wives give them candy bars for good plays? It's a little too soccer mom-ish for me....but maybe that's what they like :)

Anonymous said...

I think you should make a t-shirt that says "Pretty Good Girlfriend" and wear it to the next game. On the back, you could write "I sometimes let him choose the movie".

Kyle Garret said...

While I always find your blogs funny, this was the first time I actually guffawed out loud.

Also, please tell Neetu that it's "ridiculous." She won't listen to me and it's burning a whole in my brain whenever I look at it.

You just need better examples of the modern wife. My friends Jay and Judy are married and there's absolutely no power structure in their relationship.

I'd be interested to see what kind of stats you'd get if you took that class today.

Also, that's what you get for going to the Valley.

Anonymous said...

Kyle - are you being ironic when you say it's burning a "whole" in your brain? I say "yes," Meg's not so sure.

And also, while we're correcting...

Meghan, my love, the term is "hit." Not "offensive play." Sweet Jesus, Woman! How long have we been together? You'd think even a *little* baseball terminology would have sunk in, even unintentionally.

Kyle Garret said...

You're both write. I wrote it and accidentally used "whole" then decided to leave it after the fact.

Because I'm that clever.

See? I was clever again up their.

I just can't stop.

Anonymous said...

good lord, is it really ridiculous? I'm pretty sure i've been spelling it wrong my hole life ;)

Kyle Garret said...

You and my girlfriend, Neetu. Ewe and my girlfriend, which is probably why I noticed it.

See? Did it again, although it was a bit harder this time.

Chrissy said...

Ewwwwww..... EWWW. Didn't you mean Perfectly Crazy Bitches Club? Sounds more accurate!

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